Unforgiven
by Reeses17
Summary: Haley James tries to get through her senior year at Tree Hill after a tragedy. Naley, Baley
1. Prologue

This is completely AU...the history is sort of the same though. It'll be explained throughout the story. Hope you like. Feedback is appreciated. Thanks.

UNFORGIVEN

Prologue

"We're not going as Bill and Hilary, you loser." Haley rolled her eyes as she shot down another one of Lucas's ideas. Sometimes she wondered about their relationship. Everyone thought they were weird, including Karen, Lucas's mother and also her boss, but to each other, they were the most normal thing in each other's lives. Their complete messed up lives. Her own parents were nonexistent. They're probably off somewhere rallying against global warming or trying to save sea turtles. Lucas's life was even messier than hers. Dan, his dad was an ass, who wants nothing to do with him and only cares about his other son, Nathan, who was also an ass. Karen is engaged to Keith, Lucas's uncle and the only member of the Scott's family, besides Lucas, that has a heart. Life is funny.

"And why not?" He pinched her cheeks. "Halloween's supposed to be fun. And you'll look good in a blonde wig." He winked.

Haley smacked his hands away and smirked. "One condition."

"What?"

"I'll be Bill and you'll be Hil." She winked and waited for her best friend's reaction.

Lucas was quiet for a second. "Okay, we need a new idea."

"Ohh..ohh...lightbulb on top of head." Haley pointed to the air above her head and exclaimed excitedly, "How about I be you and you be me?"

"Should I be worried that you have some kinky fetish with wanting to dress up like men." Lucas asked jokingly concerned.

"Shut up."

"You shut up."

Haley was about to continue the banter but she saw a customer wave to her. She picked up a coffee pot and walked around the counter, "We'll continue this later, dude."

"Hales."

She turned around. "Yea?'

"I love you, ya know?"

She smiled. " I know." She walked back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Love you too."

And that was the last day she saw her best friend.


	2. You didn't save me

First off, I want to thank those that replied. It's really great because I have no idea where this story is going and your feedback gives me ideas…so keep it up, hee.

**Unforgiven - Chapter 1**

"_Lucas?" Haley called out into the dark. "Where are you? I can't see anything."_

"_I'm right here." Lucas's voice returned. "Just follow my voice."_

_She shivered at the sound of his voice. Oh, how she missed that voice. "I can't find you. Why is it so dark?" She cried out in desperation. She hated the dark. Ever since the day she accidentally locked herself in the basement when she was 9 years old, she had been afraid of dark empty rooms. She swore she would have gone crazy if Lucas hadn't gone looking for her when she didn't show up at the Rivercourt like they had planned. He heard crying and screaming coming from the James' house and had broken a window to get in and from then on, she trusted Lucas with her life. He was her savior. "Luke, I'm scared." A tiny whimper escaped her throat. "I need you."_

"_I needed you too." His voice began to change. It was angrier. It was filled with hurt. "You didn't save me liked I saved you."_

"_I'm sorry." She crumbled to the cold hard ground and sobbed. "I'm sorry. Come back to me." She screamed louder. "I'm sorry!"_

"Haley. Haley! Wake up."

She awoke and gasped suddenly at the sound of Mr. Drake's voice. Her head popped up from the sweater she had used as a pillow. Her eyes were still watery from the dream and she can feel the stares and the quiet whispers from around the tutor center. Her breathing was fast and her heart was beating a mile a second. Placing a hand over her heart, as if she can slow down the beating, she managed a weak response. "Yes?"

"You okay, Ms. James?" He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You look rather pale."

Another pity moment from yet another person who doesn't really care. "I'm fine." She smiled. A fake one, but no one knew or cared enough to notice. The only people that knew her better than herself were gone, never to return, leaving her alone in this cold harsh world. Snapping out of her depressing thoughts, she returned her attention back to the older man, "Is there something that you need?"

"As a matter of fact, I do need something." He returned the smile and motioned for someone to come in. "Nathan, this is Haley. She will be your tutor this semester."

Haley stood up immediately the second Mr. Drake finished his sentence, causing her chair to scrape loudly against the floor. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of Nathan Scott, Tree Hill's star basketball player. If looks can kill, he would have been six feet under. His presence caused her heart to break a little more because he was a reminder of her best friend, yet she never removed the angry gaze from her face. However, his face showed no emotion. He was unfazed by her glare, as if he had a shield around him protecting him from all that is against him.

Oblivious to the tense situation, Mr. Drake excused himself. "I'll let you two get acquainted."

Haley watched as Nathan looked around the tutor room and then back at her, "Should we get started?" He laid his blue Jansport school bag on the desk. "I have practice in an hour."

Haley shook her head with a fury and backed a few steps away from him. "No. no." She pointed a finger at him. "You better find someone else because I will not help you."

"You have no choice." He responded with cockiness. "I was assigned to you." His tone softened and he continued to speak. "Look Haley, I'm not going to graduate if I don't pass Biology. All I need a couple hours a week."

Haley did not move. She did not want to speak. Looking at Nathan Scott flooded her with memories of what had happened that fateful day three months ago, the night of Halloween. The night that took her best friend away from her. The night that changed the lives of all those that loved him. She felt her eyes burning with tears, but with all the strength that she had, which wasn't much, she didn't let them drop. She refused to cry in front of him. There was nothing else she wanted or needed to say to Nathan. Therefore, she did the only thing she could do. Walk away.

Haley heard him call after her, but she did not turn back. She continued to walk the empty hallway, never realizing how long it was, but he had ran after her and stood in front of her. She tried to maneuver around his 6 foot frame, but he mimics her moves.

"Would you stop?" He exclaimed with frustration in his voice. "I know you don't like me because of what happened to Lucas, but –"

"Shut up." Her voice filled with scorn which caused Nathan to stop abruptly. "Do not ever say his name." With hate and pain in her eyes, she stared up into his eyes, almost getting lost in them, "Stay away from me."


	3. I'll Follow You Anywhere, My Dear

1Happy Holidays! Finals are freakin' over and I'm heading back home tomorrow.,,.whoohoo...I'll try to update as frequently as possible during my break,,,, Thanks for the replies. I love reading them. Hopefully this chapter will answer some questions. Hehe, be patient...you'll find out more soon.

**Unforgiven - Chapter 2**

"_To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry"_

Haley James was surviving. Not living. She couldn't. She wouldn't. Not without her best friend.

Each day was about surviving. Waking up, going to school, coming home, doing homework, and sleeping. The day would repeat itself the next day. Days of not knowing how harsh life can treat you were gone. She knew now and the pain is nothing like she would or could _ever_ imagine. The pain is real. The pain is now.

Being in this town only reminded her how alone she truly was. The night of Halloween, she lost her best friend. A week later, she lost her family. It wasn't her family by blood, it was her family because of love. Love that she only felt with Lucas, Karen, and Keith. Unconditional love. She would never blame Karen and Keith. They didn't want to leave her. The pain was just too much. Karen lost her son and no mother should ever go through that pain. Keith had lost a son too, not his son by blood, but Keith's love for Lucas was a thousand times more than a son could ever hope or dream for in a father. She missed them. They had given her a future to look forward to. That one night took it all away.

"_I think we should go somewhere in the West Coast. The beaches are great there." Lucas suggested as he crammed another mouthful of Mac n' Cheese into his already full mouth._

_Haley wiped the excess cheese from Lucas's lips. "You're disgusting." She laughed as he took another spoonful into his mouth to mock her. "We have a great beach here too, ya know?"_

"_Yea, but I heard the babes there wear much less."_

_Haley and Karen groaned as Keith and Lucas high fived each other. Looking at Karen, Keith knew he was going to be in trouble later. "Lucas." Keith straightened up and said seriously, "Do not call women babes. It's disrespectful and demeaning."_

_Karen leaned over to her husband and kissed him on the cheek. She patted him on the head, "Nice try, but you're still in trouble." Keith playfully slapped Lucas as Karen turned her attention back to the kids, "Why not stay around here for college?"_

"_No way." Haley was first to speak. "Seventeen years in this town is enough. Time to move on."_

"_Gee, thanks." Keith replied jokingly. _

"_We love you too." Lucas added and rolled his eyes._

"_Hey, I didn't mean it like that. You guys are the only reason I didn't run away from home ten years ago." Haley knew that she had saved herself when all three smiled. "I'm just saying, it'll be great to go somewhere where we won't have to see the slutty cheerleaders of Tree Hill High or meet someone that doesn't know the history of Dan Scott and his sons-_

_Lucas was half way out of the café before Haley dropped her spoon and got up. Why did she have to open her big mouth? She looked apologetically at Karen and Keith. "Don't worry, guys. I'll take care of this." _

_Haley had to catch her breath by the time she got to the Rivercourt. "Damnit, Lucas." She panted. "You couldn't have slow down a bit?"_

_Lucas made his way to one of the picnic benches and laid down. Haley followed and did the same, taking a spot next to her best friend. Resting her head on his chest, she was finally able to catch her breath and breathe at a normal pace. There was nothing but blackness above them. Not one single star on this chilly night. She shivered as the cold wind blew but was comforted by the warmth of Lucas's arm wrapping tightly around her. She leaned into him even closer, taking in his scent. "What's wrong, buddy?"_

"_I saw him today." _

_She flinched at the sadness of his tone. She knew who he was taking about right away. Dan. Only that jerk could cause such a sadness in his voice. "What happened?"_

"_I told him that I wanted to join the Ravens." He laughed bitterly. "I'm so stupid. I actually thought he would be proud of me." His voice grew angrier and she was no longer comforted by his warmth. He had stood up and walked onto the center of the court, facing away from her. "He didn't care. He told me that it would be better to stay on my side of the tracks. He didn't want me to be a distraction to his precious Nathan."_

_Haley had made her way towards her best friend. He still wouldn't turn around to face her. She knew he was crying. Lucas hated when people saw him cry. "Lucas." Haley whispered. Tears had slid down to her face and she had begun to cry also. "I'm so sorry." She wrapped her arms around him from behind, engulfing him into a hug. "He doesn't deserve your love." She rested her head on his back. "I love you. Your mom and Keith love you."_

"_I know that. I know." He was frustrated and wanted to move from her embrace, but she only held him tighter, keeping him in the same position. "I just don't understand why I want his approval. Why do I want someone who doesn't care for my existence to love me back? Why do I give myself hope that one day he'll accept me?"_

_Haley didn't have an answer for him. She wanted to know why too. Why did Lucas want to be loved by his biologically father and brother when they treated him like crap? She didn't know. All she knew was that Dan and Nathan Scott would never deserve Lucas's love. He was too good for them. She only wished Lucas would realize that. "Lucas?"_

"_Yea?"_

"_Once we graduate, I'll go anywhere with you. We'll get away from here." She promised. "I'll follow you anywhere, my dear." _

_Lucas put his hands over her much smaller ones. Haley closed her eyes, trying to stop her tears from flowing but she couldn't stop. Through her quiet sobs, she heard Lucas telling her that everything was going to be okay. For once, she didn't believe him. _

_And her instinct was correct. A month after that night at the Rivercourt, Lucas had committed suicide. _


	4. Between the Lines of Fear and Blame

Happy Holidays! I just wanted to thank everyone for responding. I hope I don't disappoint with this chapter. This story is all in Haley's point of view, so hopefully I'm doing the other characters' justice because its so hard to express emotions that they feel through their actions only...okay, anyways...this chapter may be a little dry, I dunno, but it's hard to write a sad story during Christmas, lol.

**Unforgiven - Chapter 3**

_All the heartbreak all the pain  
All the words you said in vain  
And I'll never be the same_

Haley James wasn't the person who would cut class, but she wasn't the same Haley that she was three months ago. The new Haley wasn't excited to learn new things. The new Haley didn't find satisfaction in seeing students she tutored succeed. She really didn't know who she was anymore. Second period had just ended, but she had enough of the school day. Cramming her books into her locker, she looked around to see that no teachers were looking before she made her way towards the exit. She knew exactly where to go once she left the school building. The docks. Her favorite place in Tree Hill besides the Rivercourt. She sat on top of the table and stared out into the water, wrapping her arms around herself. It was a cold day. She hated the cold. It only reminded her there was no Lucas to keep her warm. It reminded her of the times when Lucas would take off his Keith Scott sweatshirt and put it on her, yelling at her for not wearing more clothes and for trying to get sick. Truthfully, she just wanted to wear the Keith Scott sweatshirt that Lucas loved and treated as if it was a member of his family. It made her feel special knowing that Lucas would only let her wear it besides him. Now it belonged to her. She had gone over to his room and taken it after the funeral when Karen and Keith weren't home. She held on to it tightly and had cried on his bed for hours, remembering him through the scent that he left in the sweatshirt. His scent is almost completely faded and soon it would became just another ordinary sweatshirt.

"Trying to catch a cold?"

She wasn't sure if the voice was speaking to her, but she looked up anyway. It was none other than Nathan Scott, with his infamous smirk on his arrogant face. He was waiting for an answer, but she was not going to give him one. She shot him a glare then returned her gaze back onto the water.

"Aren't you suppose to be in class?"

"Aren't you?"

"I saw you sneak out, so I followed you." He stepped forward to her. "I was hoping you would change your mind about the whole tutoring thing."

Haley looked at him again, this time with anger and disbelief. "Why would I change my mind?" She hopped off from the table and stood right in front of him, with only inches between them. "Are you trying to deliberately hurt me? Why are you so cruel?" Her eyes were stinging with tears and she can see that Nathan was uneasy, looking down at her as if she grew two heads.

"What are you talking about?" He looked away from her haunting eyes. "I just want you to be my tutor. What is the big problem?"

"The problem?" Haley found his eyes, making sure he was paying complete attention. "The problem is that your brother that you and your dad tormented is dead." Her tears could not be contained any longer and she allowed them to flow freely down her face, not bothering to wipe it away. "The problem is that you act like you didn't play a part in my best friend's death."

"What? I didn't even -

"Shut up! I'm not done." Haley ignored the shock in Nathan's expression that her outburst had caused. "This is all your fault. You did everything you could to make him feel worthless. You and your friends hazed him. You did every horrible thing that you can think of to keep him away from the team. And the worst thing you did was telling him that Dan hated him, that he wasn't good enough."

All Nathan can do after her rambling was to stare at her. She can see that he attempted to speak, but then shut his mouth. He was at a loss for words, something that Haley didn't think was possible. Haley reached into the neck of her sweatshirt and pulled out a silver locket. Nathan watched intently at her actions, his eyes following her hands. She opened up the locket, revealing a picture of Lucas inside. She held it up to Nathan. "Did you even care that Lucas was your brother? That he was a part of you?" It was too hard for her to speak. Her sobs had consumed her and the memories of seeing Lucas being rejected by his father and brother caused her heart to break all over again. She kissed the locket before closing it and tucking back into her sweatshirt.

The cold wind was blowing out of control. She hugged herself tighter as she cried in front of him, her eyes never leaving his. She refused to turn and walk away from him. She wanted him to see her cry. She wanted him to feel bad. She wanted him to feel regret. She didn't know him very well, but from the sight in front of her, she may have succeeded. His arrogance was gone. It almost seemed as if he was sad. His hands moved towards her, as if he was going to touch her, but quickly let it drop.

"Look, Haley." His voice was shaky. "I don't know what to say -

"There is nothing left to say." She stopped him. She took a breath to compose herself before looking back into his glowing blue eyes that seem to be holding unfallen tears. "You broke my best friend's spirit. You pushed and pushed him until he couldn't take it anymore. For that, I can never forgive you."

There had been many times that she wanted to scream at him for being a bastard, for all the horrible things that he had done to Lucas. She wanted to tell him that he caused his brother's death. She finally did, but for some reason, she didn't feel better. She didn't expect to see sadness in his eyes. Unable to look at him anymore, she turned to leave, only to have Nathan grabbed her shoulders and spinned her around.

"I didn't want him dead. I just wanted him out of my life." His voice was defensive. "He was going to ruin everything."

"I guess you got your wish." She spat back. "He's never going to ruin your perfect precious pathetic life."

"You think my life is perfect?" He scoffed. "You have no idea what I go through everyday. You have no idea how much pressure I face. Don't judge me when you don't even know me."

Haley scoffed back. "I judge you by what I know and what I know is that you're a heartless jerk. You're so scared of sharing daddy's love that you would go to extreme measures to keep Lucas out of your life. Do you even think of the consequences?"

"How was I suppose to know he was going to kill himself? People don't just wake up one day and decide to kill themselves."

"You're right. It takes years of rejection. If it wasn't for you and your father-"

"What kind of a friend are you to not see the signs? If you want to blame someone, look in the mirror." He pointed an accusing finger at her, but let it dropped quickly when she flinched and looked up at him with those haunting sorrowful eyes. "Look, I'm sorry," he said guiltily. "I didn't mean that."

Haley knew that he was right. It had been her responsibility to look after her best friend and she didn't. She failed him. "Yes. Yes you did and you're completely right." She nodded. "This is all my fault."

"Haley-"

She touched his chest to stop him from talking. "Let's go back to pretending like we don't know each other. There's no point in talking about what we cannot change." Her voice was low and drained from crying. "Please ignore me when you see me and I'll do the same."


End file.
